Promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can
disturb your peace of mind.

To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to
every person you meet.

To make all your friends feel like there is
something in them.

To look at the sunny side of everything and make your
optimism come true.

To think only of the best, to work only for the best,
and expect only the best.

To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others
as you are about your own.

To forget the mistakes of the past and press on the
greater achievements of the future.

To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give
every living person you meet a smile.

To give so much time to the improvement of yourself
that you have no time to criticize others.

To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, and too
strong for fear, and to happy to permit the
presence of trouble.

(The Optimist Creed,  from The Optimist International

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I am searching for a leader who … is knowledgeable, bold, creative, ethical and more interested in the well-being of all Americans than the welfare of his political party, Carnell says.

As the Republican candidates for president crisscross South Carolina, spewing venom at each other and producing lots of heat but no light, I have to ponder what I want for our country.

I want everyone to have adequate food and a safe place to sleep.

I want everyone to have access to health care.

I want every child to have the opportunity to have a good education.

I want everyone who wants a job to have a job.

Is this too much to hope for in the richest country on earth? Does this make me a liberal? Perhaps it does.

Does this make me a bleeding heart or a do-gooder? I don’t want to be a liberal or a conservative. I really want to be a radical as Jesus is a radical, but I am too timid.

Before you put me in that political box, consider that I also believe in capitalism. I was the administrator of a nonprofit agency for 35 years.

I depended on those who made a profit to support the work of my agency. I know that nonprofit organizations cannot exist and do the work that is so needed unless there are profit-making businesses.

My hope is that those businesses will make reasonable profits from ethical business decisions and then donate a sizeable amount of those profits.

Should churches be in the forefront of meeting these human needs? Of course they should.

Should individuals who profess their faith be involved in solving these problems? There is no doubt that the answer is a resounding yes.

There is no way to be a Christian and at the same time squirm away from the teachings of Jesus: “In so much as you have done it unto the least of these my brethren, you have done it also unto me.”

I believe that the role of government is to make certain that everyone has an equal opportunity at life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. You do not have an equal opportunity if you are hungry, fearful or poorly educated.

My years of working in nonprofit agencies, being an active church member, a community activist, and teaching hundreds of students have taught me that Americans are generous, kind, fair-minded people.

We are for the underdog. We love a success story.

I am opposed to any politician who tries to turn me against you or tries to drive a wedge between religious groups. We are all in this rickety boat together, and my welfare depends on your welfare.

I am searching for a leader who is a visionary. One who is knowledgeable, bold, creative, ethical and more interested in the well-being of all Americans than the welfare of his political party.

I want a leader who understands that we are faced with problems that cannot be solved overnight, but that those problems are solvable.

I am looking for a leader who recognizes his own weaknesses and who surrounds himself with trustworthy advisors.

I yearn for a leader who does not see cooperation as weakness. I am searching for a leader who inspires the best that is within us rather than what is most expedient.

I am searching for a leader who will not sell our country short but understands that we are part of a global community.

The world outside our borders can be frightening, but it is also filled with wonderful opportunities.

I am looking for a leader who not only talks about human rights but puts those words into practice in all of our transactions.

I can hear your jeers. I know I am an idealist, but indulge me for a minute.

Why should we not seek the best candidate? Why should we not seek someone who represents our highest values? Why must we settle for the candidate who can outmaneuver, out-lie, outspend, out-trash, out-demagogue all the others?

Think about it.

MitchCarnell is a consultant specializing in interpersonal and organizational communication. He is the editor of “Christian Civility in an Uncivil World.” He and Carol are active lay members of First Baptist Church of Charleston, S.C. He blogs at www.mitchcarnell.com.

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For the next 30 days I will say something nice, uplifting or encouraging to at least one person every day. I understand that comments that involve physical appearance are off limits for this exercise. I will keep a record for each day that notes whether or not I kept the pledge and of any specific reactions directed related to the exercise.

Name:                                                                         Date: 

Civility Challenge Two

I pledge that during the next 30 days I will refrain from saying anything ugly, demeaning or derogatory to anyone in my workplace. If I need to offer correction, I will do it in a respectful manner. I will keep a record for each day that notes whether or not I kept the pledge and any reactions directly related to the exercise.

Name:                                                                                          Date:

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            “As Adolf Hitler and the Nazis seduced a nation, bullied a continent and attempted to exterminate the Jews of Europe, a small number of dissidents and saboteurs worked to dismantle the Third Reich from the inside. One of these was Dietrich Bonhoeffer—a pastor and author.  Eric Metaxas implores us to remember, “A man determined to do the will of God radically, courageously and joyfully – even to the point of death.”

             Metaxas is the author of two New York Times bestselling biographies, Bonhoeffer: Pastor, Martyr, Prophet, Spy and Amazing Grace:  William Wilberforce and the Heroic Campaign to End Slavery. This book became a movie.   Bonhoeffer has been named as the best Christian book of the year by the Evangelical Christian Publishers Association. Metaxas received the Canterbury Medal, the Becket Fund’s highest honor in recognition of courage in defense of religious liberty.  

            The lectures celebrate the life and work of the late Dr. John A. Hamrick long time pastor of First Baptist Church and the founding president of what is now Charleston Southern University. Special music will be presented by David Templeton, minister of music and worship and Beverly Bradley, organist.  The author’s books will be available for purchase and signing.

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Bitterness is a terrible taskmaster. It will ruin your life and suck all the goodness you receive into a dark hole, Carnell writes.

Many people regard New Year’s resolutions with the same disdain they attribute to the fruitcake. I am a proponent of both.

For several years now, I have made the same New Year’s resolution, and I ask God to help me to keep it: I will take no bitterness into the new year.

Whatever has happened during the past 12 months that tends to sour my disposition, cause me pain and create separation, I resolve to let go. Whatever offenses I have suffered will not be dragged into the new year.

Forgiveness is not as easy as it might sound. Partly it requires developing a thicker skin and realizing that I take far too many things personally. I need to lighten up.

This is one of the concepts my friend, Monty Knight, discusses in his book “Balanced Living: Don’t Let Your Strengths Become Your Weakness.”

Continuing with Monty’s philosophy, I don’t have to go to every fight to which I am invited. That is a major concept: Let it go.

Tom Newboult, a minister of religious education, once told me that sin is giving more importance to the moment than it is worth. In other words, don’t dwell in the negative. I think Tom hit the nail on the head.

Turning a negative into a positive is another methodology for dealing with difficult situations.

Since I administered a not-for-profit agency for most of my career, I would often be attacked with, “Well, Mitch, you are just an idealist.”

My reply became, “Thank you. I hope so.”

The main thing Christians must remember about forgiveness is that we are able to forgive because we have been forgiven.

Susan Sparks in “Laugh Your Way to Grace” suggests that we rediscover the power of humor. She maintains that we take ourselves far too seriously. We need to repackage some of the comments that cause us pain.

Bitterness is a terrible taskmaster. It will ruin your life and suck all the goodness you receive into a dark hole.

I recommend a proactive approach. Go on an active campaign to make those around you glad that you are there. Build them up by helping them feel good about themselves. Say something nice. Compliment him or her in a genuine way. Call the person by name. Offer a specific compliment about a real accomplishment.

On the other hand, when you receive a compliment, acknowledge it graciously with a simple “thank you.”

In my book, “Christian Civility in an Uncivil World,” I discuss the power of words, but I am by no means the first to come to that conclusion.

The psalmist said, “Let the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable unto thee, oh God, my strength and my redeemer.”

Arthur Caliandro gets right to the heart of the matter with a three-word solution. “Life is now.” That statement is stunning in its simplicity. Live in the present. Don’t drag past hurts into today.

I was part of a vivid demonstration of this principle. We were planning one of the annual John Hamrick Lectures while Hamrick was still living. A potential speaker was being considered. I called the speaker to extend an invitation.

He told me that because he and Hamrick had been involved on opposite sides of a controversy, he would only come if Hamrick approved. When I told Hamrick of my conversation, he didn’t hesitate. “That was then. This is now.” Wow.

I make no claim that getting rid of bitterness is an easy task. You and I have experienced great hurts. Unfortunately we have also inflicted great hurts.

I know that I am in the process of becoming and that God is not finished with me. Practicing my resolution of taking no bitterness into the new year has helped me live a more productive, less stressful life.

I believe you will experience the same happy results if you give it a try.

MitchCarnell is a consultant specializing in interpersonal and organizational communication. He is the editor of “Christian Civility in an Uncivil World.” He and his wife are active lay members of First Baptist Church of Charleston, S.C. Mitch blogs at MitchCarnell.com.

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